Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Leaving on a Jet Plane
So I will be leaving this week to go do some training. I will be without computer and internet for approximately 5 weeks. So I will not be blogging but will probably be able to answer emails. During this time I am going to make the blog private for the simple reason that I am not around to monitor it. So please, stick around I will be back... I will be going private towards the end of the week. Thanks!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
TMI: Breaking up is hard to do
1. What’s the worst reason you have been given for breaking up?
My first real boyfriend broke up with me, for the first time my sophomore year of high school, a month after my grandfather died, and 3 days after my house burned down. He said that it was because he could not deal with all of my emotions. So... I am near break down levels and this kid decides that he can't handle emotions... we had been together for over a year too. A few days later he asked me if it would be okay for him to go on a date with some senior girl or if I didn't think it was a good idea... I obviously didn't think it was a good idea, and that girl jumped me at lunch a few days later. As I was kneeling on her chest ready to throw a punch my track coach came up behind me and picked me up off her and took me in another room. I did not get in trouble, and I got to run in the meet the next day. The girl was suspended. It was one of those stupid high school relationships where we were together on and off for the next 2 years.
2. What’s the worst reason you gave, to someone, for breaking up?
I ever told someone? Probably nothing, I just stopped answering my phone every time this one boy called me. I didn't like him, it wasn't that I didn't see a future with us, I didn't see a present with us.
3. Have you ever engineered the end of a relationship e.g doing something you know will put the other person off? If yes, what did you do?
I did. I went and hung out with an ex to get my current boyfriend to leave me alone. Happened that the same night I was hanging out with my ex, the current boyfriend was in a car accident and called me 30 times, while I didn't answer. I felt really bad about it because he was a really nice kid, had a great job and a nice car... but I wasn't really after those things then. I just wanted someone to have fun with and he wasn't fulfilling the fun quota.
4. Have you ever stayed with a partner just because you could not bear to end it?
Again, that silly high school boyfriend thing. I stayed long long LONG after I should of. My mother was extremely strict so when I would have to be home for the night he would drop me off and go to parties. I should of stopped then. But even after we had broken up we continued to have sex on a regular basis and it was horrible sex at that because there was no feelings behind it, when it was over I was glad to get up and move on to the next thing I "had" to do that day.
5. Have you ever encouraged a friend to end a relationship? What happened? Are you still friends?
Eh... guilty. I encouraged my best friend to end a relationship with a boy who I had been friends with since we were little. I encouraged this because I was jealous probably, but more because the boy and I spent a lot of time together alone and because things were progressing between us. We spent a lot of time together, fishing, and sitting around a fire, swimming in lakes, doing what normal high school kids do in rural areas... It is one probably the only relationship I have in my life that I look at and wonder what could have been. We are still friends, he and his wife just had their second child last year but when we hug sometimes, you can tell that there is more there. The girl? Yes we are still friends, She was my best friend and she didn't really like him, the were exact opposites, and I think they started dating simply because they had me in common.
Bonus: Have you ever been the cause of a relationship to end? Tell us about it.
I have, and then I was mostly intentional, I know I was a horrible person, but I was also a young stupid girl, and when it came to boys I usually got what I wanted. So although I may have been the cause of a few relationships ending, I am fairly sure that most of them got back together after I was done with it. It sounds mean and spiteful and horrible... and maybe I was that person then looking back now, but at the time it was all in good fun and I never saw the pain that I know now that I probably caused. I apologize to any girls who's boyfriend I may have borrowed... but it swear it was all in good fun.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!
My first real boyfriend broke up with me, for the first time my sophomore year of high school, a month after my grandfather died, and 3 days after my house burned down. He said that it was because he could not deal with all of my emotions. So... I am near break down levels and this kid decides that he can't handle emotions... we had been together for over a year too. A few days later he asked me if it would be okay for him to go on a date with some senior girl or if I didn't think it was a good idea... I obviously didn't think it was a good idea, and that girl jumped me at lunch a few days later. As I was kneeling on her chest ready to throw a punch my track coach came up behind me and picked me up off her and took me in another room. I did not get in trouble, and I got to run in the meet the next day. The girl was suspended. It was one of those stupid high school relationships where we were together on and off for the next 2 years.
2. What’s the worst reason you gave, to someone, for breaking up?
I ever told someone? Probably nothing, I just stopped answering my phone every time this one boy called me. I didn't like him, it wasn't that I didn't see a future with us, I didn't see a present with us.
3. Have you ever engineered the end of a relationship e.g doing something you know will put the other person off? If yes, what did you do?
I did. I went and hung out with an ex to get my current boyfriend to leave me alone. Happened that the same night I was hanging out with my ex, the current boyfriend was in a car accident and called me 30 times, while I didn't answer. I felt really bad about it because he was a really nice kid, had a great job and a nice car... but I wasn't really after those things then. I just wanted someone to have fun with and he wasn't fulfilling the fun quota.
4. Have you ever stayed with a partner just because you could not bear to end it?
Again, that silly high school boyfriend thing. I stayed long long LONG after I should of. My mother was extremely strict so when I would have to be home for the night he would drop me off and go to parties. I should of stopped then. But even after we had broken up we continued to have sex on a regular basis and it was horrible sex at that because there was no feelings behind it, when it was over I was glad to get up and move on to the next thing I "had" to do that day.
5. Have you ever encouraged a friend to end a relationship? What happened? Are you still friends?
Eh... guilty. I encouraged my best friend to end a relationship with a boy who I had been friends with since we were little. I encouraged this because I was jealous probably, but more because the boy and I spent a lot of time together alone and because things were progressing between us. We spent a lot of time together, fishing, and sitting around a fire, swimming in lakes, doing what normal high school kids do in rural areas... It is one probably the only relationship I have in my life that I look at and wonder what could have been. We are still friends, he and his wife just had their second child last year but when we hug sometimes, you can tell that there is more there. The girl? Yes we are still friends, She was my best friend and she didn't really like him, the were exact opposites, and I think they started dating simply because they had me in common.
Bonus: Have you ever been the cause of a relationship to end? Tell us about it.
I have, and then I was mostly intentional, I know I was a horrible person, but I was also a young stupid girl, and when it came to boys I usually got what I wanted. So although I may have been the cause of a few relationships ending, I am fairly sure that most of them got back together after I was done with it. It sounds mean and spiteful and horrible... and maybe I was that person then looking back now, but at the time it was all in good fun and I never saw the pain that I know now that I probably caused. I apologize to any girls who's boyfriend I may have borrowed... but it swear it was all in good fun.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Sunday Stealing ( on Monday)
This is stolen from Jack and Jill over at Frisky in the 916... I'm having a hard time linking anything this morning so check them out if you get a chance. Thanks for the inspiration!
1. Can you cook?
I Sure Can! I cook almost everyday right now since I am home but once I start working again full time I usually return to cooking full meals 4 times a week with enough for left overs on the other days. Atlas is the professionally trained chef but I do the majority of the cooking in the house.
2. What was your dream growing up?
Not really sure what my dream was. To be happy I think. A lot of my childhood was spent in turmoil and viewing relationships that were not good examples of what I wanted. So I think I just wanted to get away from home and to be happy. My dream of happiness and love and comfort and being able to take care of myself has been very much attained.
3. What talent do you wish you had?
Playing an instrument. I am going to learn. Its the next thing on the bucket list. I just have to pick out what I want to play.
4. Favorite place?
Favorite place? I enjoy being at home. I love my house, I love my room, and when its quiet its the best place on earth.
5. Favorite vegetable?
I eat all kinds of vegetables. If I had to choose just one I don't know what I would pick. I like cooked spinach. I like it alone, I like it creamed, I like it in dips, I like it in eggs, in salads... Yes that would have to be my favorite.
6. What was the last book you read.
Something Nursing and Testing related, boring and annoying.
7. What zodiac sign are you?
Scorpio.
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
My ears are pierced, I have 3 holes in each but usually only wear two per. My belly button and eyebrow were pierced in high school and I took them out shortly after graduating. I have 3 tattoos, One on my hip that I got when I was 18, one on my hand that I got when I was 21, and one on my right calf I got two months ago.
9. Worst Habit?
Procrastinating. I should be studying right now but this seemed so much more fun. Then I should study and I will go do housework or start dinner... its always something.
10. Do you personally know anybody on Blog?
No, not personally, some people I know a little more than their blog but even that isn't much. I would love to know some of the people on here on a more personal level. Maybe someday.
11. What is your favorite sport?
Favorite sport to play? Basketball. I played all through high school, I love the athleticism of it and the sweat and the close contact and aggression. To watch I am a die hard football fan but my heart lies in hockey. It just such a tough sport, the skate and handle a puck with all the padding is incredible to me then add hitting and fighting and scoring and its damn near an art form.
12. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
Overly Optimistic.I always see a silver ling to everything and I don't see much point focusing on things that are out of our control. Worrying and stress never made anyone feel better.
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an lift with someone of the opposite sex?
Talk? LOL. I guess it would depend on who and how long we were there. I enjoy kissing maybe making out would be a good option.
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
See! The worst thing to happen to me? This summer all around has been fairly shitty. With my mom being sick and eventually passing and my sister's car accident, and everything else that happened along the way. However it didn't really happen to me, I was just an observer, I was connected genetically and emotionally to the entire situation so although it hurt, the physical pain and suffering of all the situations were not technically mine.
15. Tell me one weird fact about you:
I do not drink Milk... at all, I even eat cereal dry.
16. Do you have any pets?
3 large meat-head monster lap dogs. 3 Mastiffs... pets... more like horses.
17. Do you know how to do the macarena?
I do, but I haven't had to do it in a very very long time.
18. Is the sun shining where you are now?
No its cold and rainy here just like its been for the last 3 days. Its fall *sigh*
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
Neither? I could really give or take them. They don't freak me out, but I don't really see the appeal of it either. I like stand up comedians because I like to laugh and they don't have to wear all that makeup to be funny.
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
I think most of the things that I didn't like that I could change I did change. I didn't like my teeth, I got them straightened. I didn't like wearing glasses all the time, I got LASIK. I didn't like the way my boobs looked after breastfeeding for 4 years straight so I got them "refiled". I am really comfortable and content with myself and what I have so I wouldn't change another thing.
21. Would you be my good angel or bad angel?
I good angel. I think in general most people just suck so I feel most people could use a good kick in the ass and pointed in the right direction every now and again.
22. What color eyes do you have?
Blue. Sometimes its a greyish ocean blue other times they are very dark blue.
23. Ever been married? Yes 7 years and counting.
24. Bottle or Draft?
Neither, I don't drink beer. I just don't like the taste. If I am out and drinking chances are I have a grey goose and cranberry in my hand or a captain and coke, or crown black and coke. If I'm drinking, I probably want a buzz and beer won't get me there because I have to choke it down.
25. If you won £10,000 today, what would you do with it?
Turn it into dollars and then take a vacation. Probably Bora Bora, that is looking like the next adventure.
26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
No gum, I am scared it will stick to my teeth and pull them out. I know unrealistic ideas but it all makes sense in my head alright?
27. What's your favorite bar to hang at?
Bar a mile from our house. Its got good music on the weekends and a small crowd of townies that are real people and enjoy having a good time.
28. Do you believe in ghosts?
Why not? I am fairly certain when I was young like 5, I saw a ghost in my bedroom. I pulled the covers over my head and called for my mom. I remember all of this fairly well so it must of made an impression on me.
29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Sleep, play on the computer, Chat online.
30. Do you swear a lot?
Heh, Like a Fucking Sailor :)
31. Biggest pet peeve?
Chewing with your mouth open or talking with food in your mouth.
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Charismatic
33. In two words, how would you describe yourself? Coolest Ever
1. Can you cook?
I Sure Can! I cook almost everyday right now since I am home but once I start working again full time I usually return to cooking full meals 4 times a week with enough for left overs on the other days. Atlas is the professionally trained chef but I do the majority of the cooking in the house.
2. What was your dream growing up?
Not really sure what my dream was. To be happy I think. A lot of my childhood was spent in turmoil and viewing relationships that were not good examples of what I wanted. So I think I just wanted to get away from home and to be happy. My dream of happiness and love and comfort and being able to take care of myself has been very much attained.
3. What talent do you wish you had?
Playing an instrument. I am going to learn. Its the next thing on the bucket list. I just have to pick out what I want to play.
4. Favorite place?
Favorite place? I enjoy being at home. I love my house, I love my room, and when its quiet its the best place on earth.
5. Favorite vegetable?
I eat all kinds of vegetables. If I had to choose just one I don't know what I would pick. I like cooked spinach. I like it alone, I like it creamed, I like it in dips, I like it in eggs, in salads... Yes that would have to be my favorite.
6. What was the last book you read.
Something Nursing and Testing related, boring and annoying.
7. What zodiac sign are you?
Scorpio.
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
My ears are pierced, I have 3 holes in each but usually only wear two per. My belly button and eyebrow were pierced in high school and I took them out shortly after graduating. I have 3 tattoos, One on my hip that I got when I was 18, one on my hand that I got when I was 21, and one on my right calf I got two months ago.
9. Worst Habit?
Procrastinating. I should be studying right now but this seemed so much more fun. Then I should study and I will go do housework or start dinner... its always something.
10. Do you personally know anybody on Blog?
No, not personally, some people I know a little more than their blog but even that isn't much. I would love to know some of the people on here on a more personal level. Maybe someday.
11. What is your favorite sport?
Favorite sport to play? Basketball. I played all through high school, I love the athleticism of it and the sweat and the close contact and aggression. To watch I am a die hard football fan but my heart lies in hockey. It just such a tough sport, the skate and handle a puck with all the padding is incredible to me then add hitting and fighting and scoring and its damn near an art form.
12. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
Overly Optimistic.I always see a silver ling to everything and I don't see much point focusing on things that are out of our control. Worrying and stress never made anyone feel better.
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an lift with someone of the opposite sex?
Talk? LOL. I guess it would depend on who and how long we were there. I enjoy kissing maybe making out would be a good option.
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
See! The worst thing to happen to me? This summer all around has been fairly shitty. With my mom being sick and eventually passing and my sister's car accident, and everything else that happened along the way. However it didn't really happen to me, I was just an observer, I was connected genetically and emotionally to the entire situation so although it hurt, the physical pain and suffering of all the situations were not technically mine.
15. Tell me one weird fact about you:
I do not drink Milk... at all, I even eat cereal dry.
16. Do you have any pets?
3 large meat-head monster lap dogs. 3 Mastiffs... pets... more like horses.
17. Do you know how to do the macarena?
I do, but I haven't had to do it in a very very long time.
18. Is the sun shining where you are now?
No its cold and rainy here just like its been for the last 3 days. Its fall *sigh*
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
Neither? I could really give or take them. They don't freak me out, but I don't really see the appeal of it either. I like stand up comedians because I like to laugh and they don't have to wear all that makeup to be funny.
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
I think most of the things that I didn't like that I could change I did change. I didn't like my teeth, I got them straightened. I didn't like wearing glasses all the time, I got LASIK. I didn't like the way my boobs looked after breastfeeding for 4 years straight so I got them "refiled". I am really comfortable and content with myself and what I have so I wouldn't change another thing.
21. Would you be my good angel or bad angel?
I good angel. I think in general most people just suck so I feel most people could use a good kick in the ass and pointed in the right direction every now and again.
22. What color eyes do you have?
Blue. Sometimes its a greyish ocean blue other times they are very dark blue.
23. Ever been married? Yes 7 years and counting.
24. Bottle or Draft?
Neither, I don't drink beer. I just don't like the taste. If I am out and drinking chances are I have a grey goose and cranberry in my hand or a captain and coke, or crown black and coke. If I'm drinking, I probably want a buzz and beer won't get me there because I have to choke it down.
25. If you won £10,000 today, what would you do with it?
Turn it into dollars and then take a vacation. Probably Bora Bora, that is looking like the next adventure.
26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
No gum, I am scared it will stick to my teeth and pull them out. I know unrealistic ideas but it all makes sense in my head alright?
27. What's your favorite bar to hang at?
Bar a mile from our house. Its got good music on the weekends and a small crowd of townies that are real people and enjoy having a good time.
28. Do you believe in ghosts?
Why not? I am fairly certain when I was young like 5, I saw a ghost in my bedroom. I pulled the covers over my head and called for my mom. I remember all of this fairly well so it must of made an impression on me.
29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Sleep, play on the computer, Chat online.
30. Do you swear a lot?
Heh, Like a Fucking Sailor :)
31. Biggest pet peeve?
Chewing with your mouth open or talking with food in your mouth.
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Charismatic
33. In two words, how would you describe yourself? Coolest Ever
Thursday, September 29, 2011
HNT Somtimes you need some Thrills....
Sometimes my favorite thing in the world is to wear fancy lingerie under my everyday normal clothes. What a surprise it is ay night then when I strip down to get in the shower or to hop in bed. Surprise!
Monday, September 26, 2011
I stole this... thanks Will for some inspiration
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Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Enough is enough and its time for a change!
This summer has been one sad, depressing event after another. I remember a post I wrote asking " are people really this happy?" Yes we were, we are. Its just been one thing after another this year. First my mom's diagnosis in mid May, then my sister's car accident on June 12th. She has traumatic brain injury, and is at a nursing home right now, 25 years old in a nursing home. My mom passed a week ago Sunday. Then there was a dog fight at my mom's Sunday night, and I had to rush my mother's 12 year old 115lb dog to the emergency vet for surgery because my aunt's rottie mix ripped off his front bicep... no joke, 1000 dollars later the dog is around, limping with staples and stitches but here. As we were loading the dog into the car Atlas' hand slides off the tailgate and his elbow connects with my left eye. I had the first black eye of my life for my mother's memorial service and party. About a month ago my son spilled boiling soup down his chest that resulted in a 6x6 second degree burn... This is no joke, this is what my life has been like for the last 2 and a half months. Both my windshields got busted in my vehicles while driving behind trucks that spit stones... Just couldn't catch a break.
However, there is a silver lining, there has to be, and here it is... I graduated. I was commissioned as a Nurse in the United States Navy. My mom was there to do it. We had a huge party to celebrate. I got a huge pay raise, I traded in my 2008 Kia Sorento for a 2012 for lower payments. I refinanced my house for 3 years less mortgage and 200 less a month. We are going to look to buy a new house in Virginia this weekend since we will be moving to that area shortly after Christmas.
I haven't cried hard for my mom yet. I cried more before she died that I have since. It just wasn't my mom laying in that bed Sunday morning. She had lost nearly 50 pounds, she had no hair ( from the chemo), she wasn't speaking, she screamed out in pain everytime I went to move her... It was heart breaking... but that wasn't my mom. My mom left a few weeks ago... She was the strongest, toughest person I will ever meet... its just a sad situation all around. Alas though, I am here to tell it, both myself and atlas are healthy, our children are smart strong beautiful individuals. We make a comfortable living and have nice things... I have to look at the bad with the good.... or the good with the bad in this case. Thank you all for reading, for keeping up and for the support.
However, there is a silver lining, there has to be, and here it is... I graduated. I was commissioned as a Nurse in the United States Navy. My mom was there to do it. We had a huge party to celebrate. I got a huge pay raise, I traded in my 2008 Kia Sorento for a 2012 for lower payments. I refinanced my house for 3 years less mortgage and 200 less a month. We are going to look to buy a new house in Virginia this weekend since we will be moving to that area shortly after Christmas.
I haven't cried hard for my mom yet. I cried more before she died that I have since. It just wasn't my mom laying in that bed Sunday morning. She had lost nearly 50 pounds, she had no hair ( from the chemo), she wasn't speaking, she screamed out in pain everytime I went to move her... It was heart breaking... but that wasn't my mom. My mom left a few weeks ago... She was the strongest, toughest person I will ever meet... its just a sad situation all around. Alas though, I am here to tell it, both myself and atlas are healthy, our children are smart strong beautiful individuals. We make a comfortable living and have nice things... I have to look at the bad with the good.... or the good with the bad in this case. Thank you all for reading, for keeping up and for the support.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
She's gone
My mother passed away Sunday morning... she was 47years old. Left 3 young daughters, 2 grandchildren. a mother, a sister and two brothers... Im so very sad... but also relieved
Thursday, July 14, 2011
When real life needs you
I've been busy. Like abnormally busy. After the whole crisis of my mother being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer last month I was awoken one morning to a phone call that my baby sister only 18 months my younger was in a car accident, life flighted to a nearby trauma unit and was barely hanging on. She has since fought back but is still in a coma. She opens her eyes but is otherwise barely responsive. All this along with finishing up my last 3 classes to earn my BSN and summer has just flown by. But I have been lurking every so often when I really needed a break from rela life but trust me.... Real life needed the Real me for awhile.
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