Poly... what?

So I watch big love... and sisterwives... and i follow polygamy blogs and what not. Its not for me, not now, at this point in my life. But I can truly see the appealing parts of it, more than one wife means more than one mother, more than one perosn to make lunches, or to babysit or to help out when needed... but ti also means, more than one situation that had its own set of situations.

I never heard about that lifestyle or any other until long after I was married. I could never be a "first wife" the thought of sharing Atlas, even through text messages makes me nuts but if this wasn't my life... I believe I have the ability that I would of made a great 2nd or 3rd wife.

Okay I see what you are thinking... how can you share? Well if you go into a relationship knowing... knowing is the key.... that you have to share, that the money, time, and attention will be shared then you have joined that relationship just like someone joins a monogamous relationship thinking its going to be just two people throughout all time.

Atlas and I are perfect. We have our issues just like every other couple but we see past them, most of them at least. We are truly a team, and work together to achieve both of our goals... but if atlas told me he was in love with another and he wanted both of us... I would leave... however If I went into the relationship knowing that someone else was in love with other people then it might work? Am I making sense?

Anyway... I am so happy that some of the polyamorous, polygamy families are getting more publicity and more understanding... If they are all consenting adults, and it works... then why not?

In other news... I was up sick on Tuesday morning around 3am, so I checked the phone that was closest sitting ont he dresser to find Text messages from atlas to another woman around 11 pm... Nothing important... basics " what are you doing" "just laid down u" "playing poker" and that was it... should I take it as more or an I overreacting? Given our electronic past... I am hesitant... saddened by it a bit... worried... not really... after 7 years of nearly perfect marriage i ahve very little to worry about... but still.... what it..

Some people just don't get it

So... I haven't blogged in... aw forever but Atlas is out of town and as I vented to him via texted I realized he just doesn't get it... When the response to " I am so overwhelmed I don't know what to do" is " I will help. When I can." I gave up the hope that he actually understood where I was coming from. Any fulltime mother, and fulltime worker understands sometimes you just need a break. I am taking 25 credits this semester... did i mention that? Am I insane? No, it was an accident and after it was paid for its either do it or eat the 3800$.

Next up is my live in grandmother who god bless her helps witht he kids while I spend tuesday and thursday at clinicals that are 2 hour drive away from the house... yes 4 hour commute a day twice a week but she is kinda driving me nuts. Sometimes its worse than having another small child. At least I can beat the child right... okay maybe not entirely true but you get the point. A good example of how my day went, get up unload dishwasher, reload start, go to laundry room, move clothes from washer to dryer load washer start. Wake up daughter, dress her pack her lunch. Get dressed myself, pack my things for school, check daughters bag for school, forget breakfast, make toast, drive daughter to preshcool, walk her in, drive myself 40 minutes to school, park 1 mile from my class, catch a commuter bus to the main campus and then go to a 50 minute class. Yes 50 minutes. leave class, catch another communter bus back to my car, drive 40 minutes home, get home, make lunch for son and I. Start homework. Go pick u daughter at preschool, go to rite aid to get meds for grandmother, go to grocery store for finishing touches for dinner, return home, vaccuum livingroom, bedroom, and kitchen, finish homework, start dinner, make everyone's plate including grandmother, clean up dinner, my plate in sink kids plates scrapped adn in sink, put away left overs and I look over and grandmother's plate is still sitting on the table, she is outside on her phone. When she comes in, I am in the landry room folding cloths, "I'm done" she says and goes into her room. So what do I do? Walk her clean cloths into her room, take my laundry into my room and leave her plate fork knife and glass sit on the clean table... Excuse me... but I am beat!

Here's the other thing on my mind... My mother just got home from vacation in Flordia... My uncle and aunt returned last week from the Bahamas... I don't want to hear about your vacation... I have not had a vacation since I joined my job 7 years ago... Atlas and I make six figures but can't find the time to get away on a decent vacation... Maybe he just isn't trying...

I feel lost...