So much has happened this past week that I just need an outlet. Nothing has happened in my life but everyone around me seems to be having life altering moments. One woman who I was relatively close with, who saved my marriage when I didn't know it needed saved, got divorced. She was married at a young age, her and her husband seemed happy, content, They do have two children, a son and a daughter who are both autistic. I would love to hear what happened but... I doubt I will ever know what actually happened. We worked together before, close together and she did flirt, with a few of the men we worked with, and there were rumors that more had happened with a certain doctor... but I never believed them because she was always very family oriented, very marriage oriented. Her husband was a stay at home dad while she worked as a Nurse. Interesting.

One of the wives of Atlas' coworker lost her baby. It was not just a miscarriage which is devastating on its own but she was 20 weeks along. She went in for her ultrasound to find out the sex and they could not find a heartbeat. I was heart broken to hear the news. It was to be their fourth child, an ooops baby but a baby none the less. They had a name picked out, the siblings were excited, and she had to go home after the ultrasound carrying a baby that was no longer alive. She had to wait 3 days before they induced her, and she delivered a baby that was already an angel. That just confirms the fact in my mind that I am completely content with my life, my children, and my husband and I do not desire anymore children.

Another friend of mine confided in me that her and her husband recently brought a third into the bedroom, and was considering 'dating' her as a couple. I find this so intriguing because I never even knew that they were considering that type of lifestyle.

Atlas is working long hours. He was promoted, and is taking the new job in stride. Its a good thing he has long legs and big feet. This has recently been putting a bit of downer on the lovin. It seems that our needs just aren't intertwining. One day I will be hot and ready to roll and I go shower and come out and Atlas is asleep. The next day Atlas is pawing to get my clothes off and I can barely stay awake long enough to get the kids in bed. Atlas is gone for the weekend as he will be next weekend and a few days in between. This is a busy time of year for our type of work and soon it will all be done and over with. There is such a huge focus on Atlas and his career right now. So much so that I am feeling left out, A "what about me" feeling". Atlas came up to me the other day, and said " I know right now I'm not what you need me, Im not putting the time into you that you deserve but I promise that someday, I will be completely focused, completely dedicated on everything that you need". It made me cry, and sometimes I think, its hard to see how bright our future is going to be, when its so damn cloudy today.

Then I look at the lives of people around me, and I see my husband who tries, who adores me, and my wonderful, beautiful, healthy, intelligent children and I know that I am blessed, and I am thankful.