Loyal to a Fault

So what was I anticipating? Hanging out with Hermes... He was going to be in town, we were going to hang out... just like we did before... but it didn't happen the first night, or the second, and we didn't make it to breakfast either... So, I was a bit saddened over it.  I discussed the scenerio with a friend and said that perhaps Hermes is " Loyal to a fault but even the people I just flirt with should still respect my feelings" True true...

So... I know that he would have been tempted, I probably would have too but I can clearly separate who he is in real life to the man I have made him to on this blog.  I think for the first time in a long time I may have intimidated a man. Its not because I would of thrown myself into his bed and hoped that he was interested, it was becasue he was interested and in the slim chance that I would of suggested anything, something may have happened...

Was it that or was it he's seen this blog? He knows what I think commonly, and he's seen me in next to nothing... but he's also seen me in a swim suit in real life, and we have been submerged in water up to our nexks and forced to work in cold dark palces together... Nothing ever happened. Maybe I slight brush of the hand or an incidental touch but that was it. Now he doesnt trust himself alone with me?

I'm kind of flattered that he thinks I have that kind of power becasue I never thought I did before. I still want to talk with him and flirt with him but I will find it hard to get my hopes up again...

Another thing I am looking forward to... a friend is coming and staying at my house over the weekend. It will be a much needed invitation to let loose and probably cry alittle and have a  lot of fun. I just need that interaction with someone and since Hermes felt like he was doing something wrong without ever doing anything wrong I can probably manage to find someone else to play... at least for a little bit.

ANother thing I am looking forward to? I was working with flirty guy at work on Sunday and Monday... I can't wait to get that going again, he was so fun...

Also a brief and sincere thank you to Jack (and Jill) for talking me off the edge Friday night after a few too many drinks, and keeping me company, entertained, and excited last night.  You may never really know how much that all meant.