" Only men need to loved sweetheart, Women, women need to feel wanted."

I am at an age that I know exactly what I want, at least what I want right now at this moment. I know what I want out of my marriage most of the time, out of my career, out of myself.  I know exactly how I want to feel... but I just can't find that feeling... not now... but I'm hoping to find it.

I have spent the last couple weeks alone. Working but coming home to an empty house, the kids are away for the summer and Atlas won't be home till early next year... so I have had plenty of time to think, to dwell, to fall in love, with the silence, with the peace, with what I want.  For the first time in ten years I can focus on what I want to do.  When someone asks me if I want to go do something I don't have to make a million plans to figure out how to do it, I just need to decide if I want to do it or not.

What do I want right now? I want to flirt with you. Shamelessly. I want to feel wanted. To be desired.   I don't need anyone to love me... Honestly its better if you don't... but wanted, desired... oh yes, please and more.   I don't want to set you up, I don't want to love you. My heart already belongs to someone else, so completely that the thought of anything else seems like settling for something less... (minus the few exceptions to that rule that those of you who know me already know).

I love the feeling of flirting with someone, particularly someone new, who can't take their eyes off you. Who is wondering what is going on in your head, wondering what the skin on your shoulder feels like, what your lips would feel on their neck... I love the flirting, the chase, the idea of someone new.   But the actual thought of it freaks me the fuck out. 

So, your homework... dream about me, think about me, want to fuck me, desire me, and but please don't  fall in love with  me.