So it seems

It looks like my mom has stage 4 ovarian cancer... if you dont know its not good, its not a good prognosis... I am going to lose my mom... we just don't know how much time we have so I am trying to make it in to see her every other day... I just can't do every day... I can't... her case is beig presented to a tumor board on tuesday which will give us the exact plan the options and what to expect. My schooling has taught me not to expect much. Stage 4... maybe 6 months maybe more maybe less...
Have I mentioned she is only 47?

Yeah... So... she wants to do Chemo... How do you tell someone you love that life isnt worth fighting for? I know what chemo does to people, it kills the good cells and the bad, she is gonna lose her hair, have nausea, diarhhea, vomiting, mouth sores, fatigue, malaise... I know these symptoms but there is much more... and its more personal when its your own mother. I feel like she shouldnt do it, maybe chemo will give her a few more months... but she will be sick horrible months... When I think stage 4, I think comfort, I think pain control, I think enjoy them... and I enjoy my mother... she is an amazing woman... I brought her home from the hospital yesterday and she sarted doing laundry, and sweeping the garage because she knew she was going to have company later that evening... Its hard to be upset when she wants to fight it, when she believes she can beat it... but anyone in the medical field knows... I have hope but deep down that gut feeling is there...

Im sad, Im broken hearted... but my grandma, who lives with me is hurting far worse than any of us girls... she buried 2 husbands and a man that she idolized for 10 years... She does not deserve to bury a child. No one does...

But I have hope. My mother is the strongest person I know. She is the toughest person I have ever met... and I am not saying that because its my mom.. the doctor told me that she is a walking miracle... that she shouldnt be here... She has an iron will... if she wants to fight... I will support her and help her becuase I believe that she can... the hard part is knowing if I can handle the fight right along with her...