Fifty Shades

Okay, I am almost done with the Fifty Shades books that I was peer pressured into reading... as with many things in my life, anything worth doing is worth doing well, and they are quite an easy ready so within the last week I have read 2 and the majority of the third one... The storyline is quite unbelievable, and the sex scenes are written from the point of view of a woman who was a virgin when it all started so there is a lot of  " he put is hand there" or behind, or apex of thighs, which is all good and fine but really... if you are going to be writing about sex, as often and as much as in this book ( like every 2 poages) let's bring out some of the bigger more appropriate words... but I degres, I can't stop reading it, and I wake up wondering what wonderful movie I watched and then recall that my mind does in fact go crazy and I am only reading a book, no movie at all.

So... that's my two cents on the Fifty Shades books. If you have some spare time I would read them but if you have other more important things to attend to they aren't life altering.

First Hermes... hmmm... there's not much to say really...at all which makes me SO.SAD. I sucked it up and against all my better judgement, I sent him an email on memorial day, a sober 2 line email... Happy Memorial day, its been a while... that's it... and If nothing else I would of expected a reply  same to you, something... but my email was blank... I mean Really? We work for the same people, maybe I thought too much into it... but anything would have been nice... He said  last time we talked that it was never his intention for me to feel like he left me hanging... well now what?

I see the neighbor every once in awhile, he will give me a knowing glance and nods his head in my direction... but we haven't talked much... at least not since Atlas has been home.

Atlas is back... eh...well was, now he is gone for the weekend with the guys... I work all weekend so its not a big deal to me so I hope he has a good time. Finally last night we had decent sex again... It just didn't fall back into a normal pattern when he returned home this time. I mean really... gone for 45 days and then home for 2 weeks and we have only had sex 3 times... not that I am counting or anything but really? I'm just not satisfied with that by any means, and when I go to make a move I have my legs cut out from under me... I HAVE NEEDS! The mental and emotional aspect has been there, we are happy to be together, happy to be home... the kids are happy... but damn it, I have physical needs that have to be attended to, also! Sex is supposed to be the easy part of  a relationship, it has always been the easy part... hell, I don't care if you have to close your eyes and imagine its someone else for a few minutes, I just want to be fucked!

Okay... perhaps a bit vulgar that I usually am .  Last night was good, after we took our little ones to the movies we came home and retired to bed, I was reading my fifty shades adn he looked over perplexed... " What are you reading?"  "A book" " What kidn of book"  hmmm... so I went on and explained some of it to him but I think he was more shocked that I was reading "Erotica," if you can call it that because thats not usually the type of book I have on my bedstand. But.... I was and a few minutes later he had ripped my covers off and was between my legs... Shocking because only an hour before that I was telling him how much I wanted him and blah blah blah and I got a  lot of eye rolling and not tonights... So I went into my own little world and see what happened.

The sex was really good, really intense...  much needed... but now he's gone again... what will a girl do with herself.... hmmm I guess I have a few ideas...

Happy Memorial Day

“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.

Always ...give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”

~ Chief Tecumseh ( Act of Valor)

Unseen

I've been around here lurking don't worry. I will be back soon with more fuel and fury. Back to nights on Monday. Thank goodness because this day walking thing is for the birds. Who wants to be normal anyway? I find it is way more fun to play at night anyway.  I have had some wonderful dreams I will need to fill everyone in on and i think the most erotic dream had nothing to do with sex at all... but damn I was entertained by thoughts of it all day long after... So I will keep you waiting... but I will be back. Promise... and my word is as good as gold... other's not so much.

Oh no you didn't!

"So you are the red head that he has been talking about, I've heard so much about you."

" That's funny because he's never mentioned you"

Oh yes I did!!!

150

So this is my 150th blog post. Wow... really? Who would of thought that this little bit of filterless bliss would last so long or have anyone other than me that really reads it or cares. Okay maybe nobody really cares but I enjoy writing it. Its a nice, much needed outlet.

My life has really been a blur day to day. Working everyday is for the birds. I really miss my night shift people, the freedom that working at night gives me as well as the interactions I have during the night becuase the people that are up at night seem to be more receptive and less tightly wound than the ones who are working during the day.  I have however been able to get my facetime in with the higher ups and even got a few compliments on my work ethic, my apperance, and even my willingness to help out.... One team one fight right? If one of us is suffering aren't we all not doing our job correctly? Oh well it was enough face time for me, I'm ready to go back into hiding in the dark, quite, uniformless nights.

I haven't been online much because well... I don't really know why or why not...

Hermes has not spoken to me in like weeks. Its such a drag.  I just don't want to be the one and reach out this time. I did that, I tried that, no replies... nothing...

The hot would be fuckable neighbor seems to have disapeared to parts unknown for now... aside from sharing a beer with him about a week ago,  yes I didn't even blog about it,  I havent seen much of him... again could be the hours I am working...

I am also alternating between two books right now, The Color Grey... yes I broke down and got it and Service... Both of which are good in very VERY very different ways... So Since i haven't been online I have spent time catching up on my reading and really it feels pretty good to just be... So... I will write again, maybe if with some motivating new exciting stories.. maybe ;)

TMI Tuesday: Fine Dining

FINE DINING

You are having dinner at the best restaurant you can imagine. Do not concern yourself with over-eating, or other restrictions. We want to know what you like best. What will you have for:


1. Before dinner wine, aperitif, or cocktail?

Well... I guess I would probably start out with a dirty martini, Not what I usually drink at all, I am more of a captain and coke or cranberry vodak kinda girl, but drinks like that will ruin your palate for the rest of the night. So... something that will give me a buzz and allow me to fully enjoy a satisfying meal.

 2: Appetizer?

Raw oysters... I love it, I can't help it, I love the way they taste, I love the way they smell straight form the ocean, I love the sensation of their rough shell on my lips.

 3. Soup?

French Onion soup, I don't know why but its just my favorite.

 4. Salad?

I'm easy... House salad with ranch dressing, No eggs.

 5. Wine or other beverage with dinner?

Well.. a good red wine.

 6. Entree?

I chose red wine because I had all intentions of having a large  medium rare steak. Perferably from somewhere like http://www.themetropolitangrill.com/. I have eaten there once, with 4 people our bill was 550 dollars and yes it was the best meal of my life.

 7. Side Dishes?

Baked Potatoe with everything on it, and fesh asparagus.

 8. Dessert?

Gonna go completely different genre and go with Tiramisu

 9. After dinner drink?

Let's get the party started, A few shots and then cranberry and vodak.

10. Which 3 people would you invite to dinner: (must be famous, well-known, living or dead, not fictional)
- For sex appeal

Sidney Crosby

- For great conversation

Marcus Luttrell

- Because you detest them

heh...  I can't think of anyone that I really just detest.... really.

Bonus: Your lover brings you breakfast in bed. What’s on the tray?

hmm... I'm not really a breakfast person but if I am hungover I want a full meal in the morning, like bacon eggs, toast, and homefries... If it is a normal day... a chai tea, and an english muffin, sometimes with sausage and cheese.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Inspired

So, I haven't blogged in awhile. I have kind of lost my inspiration for a bit. I don't know if its the nice weather or working a regular shift or lack of exciting interactions but I don't really have much to say.  I am kinda bummed about mother's day. Although I am a mother, I don't expect anything tomorrow but, I sure do miss my mom. Seeing commercials for flowers and candy and rings, and giant chocolate covered strawberries, yeah yo saw those commercials, is just irking me. I spent all day today in the yard, my mom would of been proud, actually I know she is proud of me everyday. She always was.  In high school no matter where my track meet was she would be there, all the way to states, all three years I went, she was there cheering me on for the 14.7 seconds it took me to runt he 100m High Hurdles.... she was always there in the rain or snow or hot humid days. It was nice.  Then when I had my children she told me allowing her to be in the delivery room was the greatest experiance of her life.  Then when I joined the military she was so proud, and she wore around her  " Military mom" shirt and put a big sticker on her car, She was also so proud when I was promoted, she left the ICU via ambulance to come and see me be promoted. She stayed for a few hours and even had a drink with me. 2 weeks later she was gone. I can't believe how quickly things change and how much it still hurts today.  But I strive everyday to make her smile and not a day passes that I don't wish I could pick up the phone and call her. Sometimes inspiration comes from around you, and sometimes it comes from within. I guess for a few minutes I was inspired.

TMI Tuesday: M is for masturbation

M is for masturbation

8u9

1. How often do you masturbate?

Probably daily... at least every other day when sex is not involved. The longest I have ever gone was 9 weeks for bootcamp, but most recently went an excrutiating 5 weeks because I slept an arms length away from a roommate who im sure would not approve... add in stress, long days and hermes and it was almost unbearable.

2. What are you doing to celebrate Masturbation month?

Hmmm.. nothing that i don't do any other month actually... not yet at least.

3. Do you like to watch your partner masturbate?
a. Yes, it turns me on.
b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused.
c. Not really, it’s boring.
d. No, it’s a turn off.
 e. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to.

Its not really our thing, but whatever you are into.

4. Do you let your partner watch you masturbate?
a. Yes, it turns me on to be watched.
b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused.
c. No, it’s embarrassing.
d. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to.

I have before but its not really my thing, I don't think I put on a good show, i'm kinda selfish when it comes to masturbation and shouldn't I be?
5. Mutual masturbation? Yay or Nay?

I'd rather be having sex, its way more fun.


6. If you had an all-expense-paid trip to San Francisco to attend Masturbate-a-thon 2012 would you go and masturbate? Why or Why not?
http://masturbate2012.tumblr.com/

 Would i go? Hmmmm Probably to check it out and meet some new friends especially since its in Cali ;) But would I participate? I talk big and bad but when It comes down to it, I'm often a fed faced giggling goofball.

Bonus: Are you addicted to masturbating?

Addicted no? A casual pasttime.... yeah I think so... I dont HAVE to do it... its something I choice freely to continue to do.

————-
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Transition

I am back to working with the living for the next few weeks... Who in their right midn gets up in the momrning and goes to work. This is INSANE!  But, it will take me a few days to be able to actually sleep through the night, waking up at 3am is a better start than I expected though.  So... work, then home, maybe dinner and cocktails with a friend that I worked with in Seattle who is in the area for a week... interesting that they looked me up, I'm actually kinda flattered. But in order to get myself psyched to work the first day I have been awake since 5am in months... I thought it appropriate to wear a corset and some knee socks..

Happy Nurses Week!!!

Where I want it

You lead me by the hand acorss the dock, Our excitment and giggles muffled by the waves pushing up against the side of the boats.  We find your boat and climb onboard.  Once we are onboard we head out into the bay... away from everyone, alone, in the middle of everywhere.

Once we are away we stop and enjoy the quiet... no noise but our breathe, nothing to distract us, no one to worry about catching us.  Sitting next to you in the moonlit night is all i've thought of.  You slide your hand across my shoulder and move my hair around the back.  Your lips are on my neck,  kissing me. Pulling me to you. Melting every inch of resistance or self control that I thought I might have.  We are alone and the only noise other than my breathlessness is the sound of the water beneath us.

My hand is on your thigh, but i can't move, I'm overwhelmed, The way you smell is intoxicating, your mouth tracing the line of my neck to my clavicle has my heart beating out of my chest. I turn to face you and we begin to kiss. Slowly at first, Then harder, our tounges fighting eachother for space. As we pull away I bite your bottom lip playfully, Yeah its gonna be like that. This has been a fantasy of mine for years.  I have long thought about being completely alone, with nothing but the night sky and water all around us.  I have always loved to be on a boat, as a child growing up spending the summers on the water, as a teen enjoying sunbathing and swimming in the deepest parts of the river or lake, and now here in this moment there is nothing I have ever wanted more than to be right here at this moment.

I climb on top of you kneeling over your lap, my hands on the back of your head, yours pulling me closer to you.  I begin to kiss your neck, under your ear, down over your adam's apple and then back to your mouth, I just can't get enough of you.  I have thought about the way your lips would feel against mine and the way that you would taste for so long now.  I pull your t-shirt over your head and run my finers over your back, I trace the lines of your tattoo and and reach behind your to pull you to me. Those things don't matter right now.  You reach around me and pull my shirt over my head and skillfully reach behind me and unhook my bra.   You begin to kiss my neck and I sigh breaking the near silence around us.   You smirk and continue to kiss down my body, you love the control that you have over me at this moment. I lean back on your lap and give you complete access to my body. As I am unbuttoning your shorts and running my hands over your stomache. I lean back forward and onto you, kissing your neck tracing my mouth down your body until I am at your hips, I trace the line of your boxers with my fingers and look up at you asking you with my look to lift your hips. You do as I silently plead and I pull you shortsa nd boxers over your legs and I kneel between your legs. I rub my cheek on the inside of your thigh and take you in my hands. I slide my hands up and down and then slowly cover your head with my mouth. I look up to see you looking at me with that go ahead grin on your face. And with that. I begin to move my head up and down slowly at first, the faster moving my head as my tounge flicks you from inside. I reach up and cup your balls in my hand and slide my mouth up and off of your hard cock.

 I lean further forward and kiss your stomach, and your cock slide perfectly  between my breasts. You immediately begin to thursts into me. You reach and squeeze my breasts around your hard cock.  I am able to slide my mouth over you when you thurst foward and this is driving you wild.  I could finish you right here but what fun would that me? I slide back down your body and take you fully into my mouth. You are still thrusting upward and reach for the back of my head. Before you are able to cum I climb up your body and kneel over you, I reach down and grab your hard cock and slide it into me and lean in  to kiss you.

As you enter me, I let outr a moan next to your ear and that makes you almost lose control.  You start to thurst deeper and harder into me as i kneel over your lap. I cling to your shoulders for support as your pull my hips towards you.  I can feel your body start to tense up and suddenly we cum together. Your thrusts become slowed and then stopped as I collapse against your chest. Again the silence of the ater surrounds us and there is no one but us in this moment.


So. Hot.... Anyway... that is deffinately one of my fantasies! Who's in?

Formspring Friday?

Okay, I know I am not part of the cool club that does formspring questions every Friday but I have a few I should answer and I have a few minutes of spare time and it happens to  be Friday soo.... Here goes.


Other than on the lips, what is your favorite place to be kissed?

I have a few that will instantly turn my into putty, like melt onto the floor... First my neck, anywhere on my neck, so long as it isn't near my ears, I have very sensitive ears and I perfer if they aren't touched... Think there's something about Mary... yeah I'm right up there with him

Anyway.... where was I? Oh yes, my neck, anywhere on my neck to my clavicle, kiss hard soft, suck bite I don't care, it you get that far chances are you are in... Another spot, somwhere around my hip bones there is a spot that will instantly curl my toes. like make my entire body tense up... Yeah... so if you start with the neck, kiss your way down my body, find that spot,  the rest will be history.

Other than your current relationship (if any), in what relationship were you the happiest? What made that relationship so fulfilling? Why did it end?

I don't think that I have been in a relationship  other than my marriage that has really made me the happiest that I have ever been. I have been in situations where I have been completely happy but I don't know if I would ever really call them relationships. The two major relationships I had prior to meeting Atlas were unfullfilling to say the least. The first one I spent a lot of time at home crying while my boyfriend would go out to parties, and drink and do drugs. The sex was pretty miserable but I think most teenage sex really isn't that good. Now that I have had good sex I know the difference.. The second boyfriend, was a douche... to the infinite degree... He stole money from me, stole my SSN, he cheated on me ALOT, and in the end the part that made me leave was he put his hands on me.... So... no those relationship where not happy ones.

But I have had friendships or guys that I have spent time with that were incredible and fullfilled needs.  I think I am a tough woman to satisfy all the way around from mental to emotional to sexual.  I am  reallly easy to get along with and I am usually having a good time,  and I have a high sex drive,

 The best sex I ever had was with a guy that worked together and a relationship would of never worked because we would of butted heads continuously. The best time spent alone in a nonsexual way  was probably Hermes... the friend with sex was my friend that I wrote about the fishing and sleeping bag story....

 Each of those three never really ended they just went on their way.  First boy, tried a hook up a few years back but I didn't wnat to get into it again with him, seriously the sex was like a drug, I would drive an hour at 3am just to do our thing and then I would drive home because I didn't want to sleep at his house, god forbid he thought I wanted more.  Hermes... well everyone who had read anything on here knows how that goes... Up and down and down and out and up and down and so on... He's like a tease I swear but if all i get is a few emails... I will take what I can get from him because truthfully, I don't want to lose him from my life completely.  The last one... He's around, we are still friends, He's the one I would turn to if something happened... He's my what if... we were at a party... this is while atlas and I were dating and me and said boy were slow dancing and someone came up and asked when we were getting married we looked at eachother puzzled and then she goes aren't you whoever... and we just started laughing... That kid... yeah... my what if.

Write Drunk, edit sober~ Hemmingway

I have a lot on my mind, I wrote a whole story and then I deleted it... It just wasn't I wanted out there.  I am just kinda frustrated. I don't even know where to go with this post right now. I want to scream at the top of my lungs the words that are bouncing erradically in my head but it just wouldn't come out right... Nothing sounds right to me right now...

Last night was incredibly busy, and challenging, today I slept most of the day got a lot of errands done in the evening and then I sat and waited... for what you may ask? If you have to ask its not about you, if you don't have to ask, then you already know what I was waiting for. But... I'm used to it, so I'll wait for something, anything.

Last night there was a tall handsome man that kept me company. He sat next to me and we talked, he looked into my eyes while we exchanged stories... he kind of reminded me of Hermes. Only... this guy was here, he was interested, he smiled at me, and he gave me "the look" yeah you know that look, the one from across the room that will turn your face red. Yeah that look and my face most definately turned red. I plan on chatting with him again soon. I really just need that outlet even if it is nothing more than talking. I need to talk to someone...

Saw the neighbor he was sitting on his porch drinking a beer after he finished cutting grass. He waved. I  nodded, he asked if I wanted a beer. I said no,  I don't like the taste of beer... he asked if I wanted something else to drink, I smiled and asked if he was trying to get me drunk... he smiled and asked if it would help his chances... I just laughed....

My needs are just not being met... and its not that I really need sex, Trust me its may, and I am taking things into my own hands on a regular basis, but really I just want to feel someone else. I want to feel thier hand on my arm, their skin against me, and it doesnt need to be sex, I just want a hug or something.. LOL Like where I can just put my head on your shoulder and stay like that for a few minutes. Like just to be held, be touched...

The Naughty Hangout: Warm and Sunny (yellow)

TMI Tuesday

TMI Tuesday: May 1, 2012 - The Here & Now

1. Are you wearing any jewelry? What?

No, I don't wear a wedding band at work, and usually I don't wear one at home... and no earrings or anything exciting, a watch, and its not even a nice one, its one that I wouldn't mind throwing away if when the battery dies and I have blood guts and gore on it.

2. What are you listening to now?

My Ipod is on when I started this post Banana Pancakes, by Jack Johnson was on, now, Drunk on you by Luke Bryan is on. Both songs I can see myself falling asleep to so... its not a bad way to start/finish my day.

And this is what I am really rocking to right now...

I imagine being at the concert, shorts, tank top, cowboy hat and boots... a bottle of crown... summer

3. What is the last piece of entertainment media (i.e., cd, download, book, DVD) that you purchased? Do you recommend it?

I pre-ordered the book Service, by Marcus Luttrell what will be released on May 18th. I am super excited to read it, his last book, Lone Survivor I read in one day. He's an amazing man with intruiging stories.

4. What kind of undergarments are you wearing right now? Care to post a photo?

I am wearing a white bra, with a blue sports bra over it, and pink panties... so... Nothing matches, but its what I had on for work. I didn't know there was going to be a pop quiz this morning.

5. What is your current mood?

I am sleepy, and aggigated that my kids are running around my room.  Horny because I think the morning is the perfect time to fuck, and I just saw my most definately fuckable neightbor. But sleepier than anything else.

6. What is the best looking thing about you today?

Hmmm, my boobs look kind of delicious... I'll go with that.

7. Fill in the blank. Tonight I’m looking forward to _____________ .

Work? Maybe an email? I could only hope for an email. And of course good late night conversations since my late night conversationist missed out last night.

Bonus: Tell me something good…anything you want to share. Just do it

I saw the neighbor this morning, he winked at me. So Damn Sexy... My vacation at work didn't get approved, my bosses are bending me over a table, no lube, and I noticed a diamond missing from my engagement ring yesterday... Oh you said good? Going to NC soon... maybe checking out a concert ot something down there, I would be happy to check out a beach but whatever it takes.