The word of the day is resentment.

I am going to school. I am currently taking a class that today's main topic of dicussion was parenthood and since i was the only person in the class who has children I was the only person able to give any input to the statistics. Yes... the professor does not even have children, she is too busy wiht her career, well, that's what she tells our class. Anyway... Statistics show that martial satisfation takes a huge dip in the first years after having children. Do you find that to be true? The teacher claims, lack of sex, and sleep and other issues account for this but I didn't agree. I didn't feel that my MARITIAL satisfaction has ever dipped. I am completely happy with my husband with our marriage. I do believe that my life satisfation dipped but it didn't have anything to do with my husband... it had to do with the roles I had taken on... then the professor states studies show that women's martial satisfation drops more than men's much quicker than men's after having children and in the first couple years of parenthood. I caught myself thinking... Did my satisfaction level drop when I had children? The professor asks the class for input, why do we think this happens. I didn't answer I didn't think that it was true in my case. Someone brings up the word resentment. Women, in the first years after having children resent their husbands. Did I resent my husband? Why would this happen. The professor goes on, resentment that his body didn't change because of pregnancy, nope not me, I went right back to my size 3/5s, my boobs were bigger, fuller, my hair longer healhty, nope didn't resent him for that. Resent that their husband's role with his friends have not changed, not really... well okay maybe alittle, my friends who were all 20-21 when I had my first child didn't want to hang out with a girl who had to get home to nurse her baby. Yeah, but Atlas never really went out with the guys to "hang out". Resent the fact that their husbands don't stay at home. Perhaps, I kind of chose to stay home but really I would rather be working, but our kids are only babies once, and its not like I am not pulling a paycheck every two weeks, my job is simply to go to school. So... Resentment... it sat in my head but I never really thought about it much until I tried to call Atlas on his cell phone, no answer, tried to call his other cell, no answer, tried to call his office line no answer... hmmm.. I am sitting home trying to finish homework, two toddlers running around screaming, dinner on the stove, I had expected Atlas home early today... and no Atlas. So finally Atlas calls me, "I am just leaving the office" "No you aren't" Don't try and lie to me. I never call him at work, never, today I just happened to want to ask him a question. "I called your office number, no one answered" " OH we went out to dinner". OKay. " I will talk to you later." "NO don't do that. I had a real shitty day," He goes on to tell me about his day. I agree it did suck, I'm sorry, I understand you don't like your job." I don't like mine either". Atlas is silent. That wasn't what I expected you to say." " What did you want me to say?" "I thought you would like have some sympathy or something." I paused and the word resentment ran through my head. SYMPATHY!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! You just told me you went to a movie! SYMPATHY! I was at home all day with the kids, cooking, cleaning and doing homework, SYMPATHY! No, that isn't the word for what I was feeling... I think that word is resentment.