Having your Cake...

Every so often I look around my house and my life with complete satisfaction. I look at my Atlas and know that he is a loving and good husband. Despite his faults he tries and he adores me and he will always take care of me and our family (and he is really good in the sack). I adore our children, healthy, bright, beautiful children. I know everyone thinks their children are the most beautiful and brightest but I know that I am blessed to have them in my life. We own a house that is larger than we need, we have more food than we could eat and we are both employed.

I talk to a lot of people who are so unhappy in their lives. I just don't understand being married to someone who you can not stand. I just don't understand how those people get through their days. I try to pick something to look forward to everyday, dinner with the family, wine with Atlas, cuddling on the couch watching hockey, something no matter how small. I know things aren't perfect and I am okay with that. Atlas and I's relationship is not always perfect but we work through things and we try to communicate everything to each other. I am so in love, with my husband, and with my children.

I often think to myself, that people are not this happy, things just don't work this well. As Atlas and I are cuddling with our 2 rugrats in the middle on Sunday mornings or while we are driving down the road, laughing and singing in the car I wonder why I am so lucky and why others are so miserable. It is as though I am waiting for that reason that proves we are not happy as I thought, that something is wrong and I just don't know about it.

Is it really possible to be this happy, this satisfied or this content?

Do I ask permisson or beg forgiveness?

I have taken the next step in the breast augmentation ladder. I have researched surgeons and found 3 in my area that I liked. I did a lot of further research on each of them and narrowed it down to 2. One is a male, 30 years experaince, life time warranty on implants, surgeries and repairs, never had a malpractice suit, board certified. The other a female, she is also board certified practing 10 years, no malpractice, she is an hour and a half away, and a friend of mine and her mother both had their surgeries by this woman. I talked to Atlas and he said that he likes the first one better. So I made an appointment and I have a consultation with him on Feb 11. I am super excited, super nervous. I don't know I just have so many thoughts going on right now. Atlas seems like he is more concerned with how we are going to pay for it than anything else. His main question was "How much?" I am sort of offended by that because whenever he wants something he just goes and gets it, a 9000 dollar quad, sure, a 400 dollar fishing pole, no problem, dropping 600-1000 on poker and football a weekend, I don't bitch. Maybe if he took a month off from his activities we wouldn't have to question where the money is coming from. We have half of it in savings, 3 times it in our retirement fund, 3/4 it in my checking account, and we are getting our tax return here in the next month or so. I don't understand the obession over where it is coming from. Worst case scenerio I will take out a loan and pay it back as needed. So far that has been my only cause of sress about the issue.

I was so tired last night I couldn't sleep. Had to take some baby benadryl to put me over the edge to sleep. Atlas usually would do the trick for me but was not feeling well when he arrived home from work so I was left to sit in bed, wide awake. I have to go and get ready for school. I will update again soon.

TMI Tuesday #223 - Masturbation Edition

TMI Tuesday #223 - Masturbation Edition
1. When you masturbate, how long, typically, is your session and what do you think about (other than having an orgasm)?

It varies in length of time, sometimes only taking a few moments and other times taking alittle longer. Never longer than 15 minutes though.

2. Have you ever been "caught" masturbating?

Caught? I don't think so, and even if it was it wouldn't be considered caught. We are all pretty open about it in my house. Atlas and I both understand that we both have needs and sometimes those needs do not need to be met by our partner sometimes we just haev to do it to get it out of the way.

3. Have you ever masturbated in front of your computer? If 'yes' was it for your own purposes or for someone's viewing pleasure?

Yes, and it was for my own purposes, No one has ever seen me masturbate except maybe Atlas and it never makes it the whole way without him joining in.

4. Have you ever attended a group masturbation party? Same-sex or mixed?

Nope, I have not.

5. When masturbating, as you reach orgasm, do you continue to stimulate yourself without interruption, or do you stop and apply pressure until your spasms subside? Or?

I usually stop until the spasms subside. I am pretty lame I know but at that point I am usually done, roll over and go to sleep.

6. Have you ever video'ed yourself while masturbating (solo)? Where are they now?

Nope, and like I mentioned before it probably wouldn't be that interesting anyway. Oh wait, I send a few short like 30 sec vids to Atlas before when we were separated for work. He deletes them when he returns.

Bonus (as in optional): How often do you use the word "fuck" (or its derivatives) in casual conversation - frequently, occasionally, rarely, never.

Fuck I use a lot more than I should considering the age of my children. Its derivitives I use on a fairly common basis. I have a pretty dirty mouth at times.

Again

I am sitting on the couch in my bedroom children running around with juiec boxes in hand. I sent Atlas out for the night. I knew he wanted an escape from the craziness that is our home. We had such a nice day together. We woke up, did breakfast, we did dishes and laundry and got the house cleaned up. The kids laid down for a nap and Atlas and I snuck into the shower to get cleaned up. We showered together and then hurried back to our bed for some much needed love making. I was laying on the bed when Atlas climbed on. He climbed between my legs and it only took me a few moments to notice the cough drop he still had in his mouth. It felt so good, cold, hot, cold, hot , Atlas working his mouth over my body. I reached out for his cock and climbed on top on him. Atlas rolled me back onto my back and climbed on top of me. I really enjoy the 69 position when I am on my back and Atlas is on top of me. He was between my legs when the pleasure became too much for me to continue to suck his cock. He slid a finger inside me and it pushed me over the edge. It felt so incredible! Atlas climbed up and kissed my mouth. Long passionate loving kisses. He kissed my neck and spent a long time on each breast. When I leaned up and licked his nipple we both began to laugh. He slid inside me and we both let out a moan. He had my legs on his shoulders as he fucked me from his knees. He slid my legs to the side and pumped harder into me. When he came he collapsed on top of me. I rolled onto my side and within seconds there was small fingers under the door and a small voice asking "What we were doing". We dressed and we all went out to lunch. We spent the rest of the day cuddled together in bed while the kids played around our room. What a lazy, wonderfully perfect Saturday.

It is strange but realizing how unsatisfied some people are in thier lives makes some people appreciate what they have more. Atlas' co-workers are all having issues with their spouses or ex spouses or whatever. It has turned Atlas into a differnt person. He has always loved me, he has always told me how much I meant to him but now he is showing me. I catch him talking to our kids and telling them how much he is in love with their mommy. My daughter told me friday that daddy said that he thought that I was the prettiest girl in the world. It is small things like that, or waking up and a note on the dresser saying have a great day that makes marriage worth all the work that it can sometimes be. Atlas climbs into bed every night and tells me how much he apprecaites me, those are the words that I was missing last year. The words that left me with resentment. And although I am sitting her alone. I am sitting her alone by choice. I wanted my time alone, i wanted to blog, and do homework and enjoy the quiet that fills my house when the children are asleep and the television is off. It is the details that I am picking up on now. Plus... the sex... I mean... wow. :)

My week in Review

It was a nice week but I am glad it is Friday. Monday was a holiday and it was a nice day to sit at home and relax, well kind of. Atlas did not have to go to work and he got up early and got the kiddos some cereal and got the house moving. He walked up next to my side of the bed and gave me a kiss on the forehead to wake me up. We were sitting on the couch in our bedroom after eating breakfast the kids playing in the livingroom and Atlas looked at me. " You wanna hump?" I looked at him, laughed and said "Of course I do but we don't have time." " I only need a few minutes." he replied." Well that wont get me too far" I started to laugh. Within a second he had pulled me to my feet and shut the bedroom door. With this I was laughing hysterically. "We don't have time for this, the kids are gonna be over in a second." Atlas bent me over the bed and pulled my pajama pants down to my knees. I was suprised but still laughing, I tried to call his bluff. He had his hand on the center of my back pushing me into the bed as he stepped out of his pants. I could feel him hard against me. He pushed into me and I let out a loud moan, no more laughing, he was serious. Atlas' hand remained on my back while the other hand reached around in front of me to work on my clit. Within minutes I had cum. Atlas grabbed me by the hips and slammed into me harder. I reached between my legs and grabs his balls in my hand. When he came I could feel his whole body tremble and he leaned down on top of me on the edge of the bed. Of course at this point small children realize the door is closed and are knocking to make sure " we are alright" "Yes," I replied as I begin to clean up and get dressed "papa was just helping me wake up."

Tuesday was uneventful. I returned to school. My classes and times aren't ideal but it is something that gets me out of the hosue and in turn I get a very good paycheck. Atlas had a late day at work and when he arrived home I was already in bed.

Wendesday is a very long day for me. I leave the house around 6am and do not return until after 6pm. Atlas and I retired to bed around 830 and put in the movie The Hurt Locker. Neither of us made it through the whole movie and it was the best sleep that I have had in a very long time.

Thursday is an easy day for me so after school I took my grandma to her house for the weekend. Atlas arrived home at a normal time and we watched the hockey game together. The kids were asleep in their beds by the middle of the second period so during the intermission we jumped in the shower together. During the third period we enjoyed some "naked hockey" which involves us watching the game together naked. Just imagine, high fives, jumping up and down, yelling at the tv naked hockey. It really is a lot of fun and I would suggest it for any sport. On occasion we would also enjoy "Naked Monday Night Football" depending on who was playing and how interested we are in the outcome determines how much attention we pay to the game. So when the game was fairly decided we retired to bed to finish our naked hockey. By then I was definately looking to score. So Atlas jumped on the bed and i climbed on the bed after him. I climbed up and kissed his neck, and licked his nipples. I climbed between his legs and began to suck his already hard cock. Atlas grabbed my hair and began to pull me up towards his face, I didn't make it the entire way as I slid him inside me. Atlas rubbed my clit as I rode him hard. I came but not completely. Atlas was far from done and he fucked me for a good 20 minutes. At this point I was squatting over him and he was leaning on pillows enjoying the full view of himself entering me. He sat up and I leaned back so I was sitting in front of him. My legs were over his and he held my ass in his hands as he pushed harder and deeper into me. It felt INCREDIBLE! We had done this position a few times before but it was never anything amazing. Last night though, the harder and faster he pushed into me the closer I came to cumming. We came at the same time. He leaned back and i clmibed back on top of him. I rolled off to his side and we laid there for a minute before we both needed a drink of water. It was a very vocal, sweaty incredibly satisfying night of naked hockey.

Happy Friday! Hope everyone has a great weekend!

HNT 2

Its been a very busy week. Back to school, long days, short evenings, quiet nights. Hopefully I will get a chance to write out a full blog entry later on today but for now I have to get my house up and running before I get going.
Happy HNT everyone!!!!

TMI Tuesday 3

1. Ideal amount of sex per week?

Idealy I could go everyday, probably twice a day but with our schedules and our children, stress and time constraints I think 4-5 times a week is ideal. Its about what Atlas and I are able to get in,sometimes more, sometimes less. There is always a lot of sexual energy between us.

2. Ever had an online affair?

Hm, No I haven't. I usually don't get close to people online. When I was young, I'd say 14 there was a boy who I talked to through thick and thin. His name is Marcus, we have never met, but we stay in contact on occassion. If I had to say I ever had feelings for anyone online it would of been him and it was years ago and it was simply because we kept each other sane through our crazy teenage years.

3. Are you a member of the mile high club?

Can't say that I am. I really was never too adventureous sexually. Atlas and I recently fucked in our car and it was the first time I ever had sex in the car so, it would probably take some serious convincing for me to try it on a plane.

4. Are you predjudice against any particular group of people?

Unfortuately I think I am. It is not a racial thing, it is not a class thing. In my line of work I just don't like working with older adults (elderly). I'm sorry, I know I am going to be old someday, and I am trying ot get better at it, I am taking classes to help educate me and I truly try.


5. What constitutes bad sex?

Bad sex? When neither person gets off? I swear, my first boyfriend and I had sex for probably a year before he was ever able to get off. Weird huh? I think maybe there is something wrong with him now that I look back on it. I was always able to get off but he never did. I don't think that my husband and I have ever really had "bad" sex. We are very comfortable with eachother and I just don't think it is possible for us to have bad sex.

Bonus (as in optional): Can females ejaculate?

I'm sure we can.

Can you do this?

I don't think I can. Is it something I have to concentrate on to do or something that would just do? I just don't think its for me.

Fake Blog, blog closing and boobs

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Lifeless friday night

So when you have small children I guess there isn't much of a night life. Atlas and I find ourselves cozied on the couch, no babysitter in sight most friday and saturday nights. Last night was no exception and I found myself boredd beyond words. I had a migraine most of the day so I treated myself to a motrin and a big glass of water, a hot shower and some comfy pajamas. Within minutes of the shower I was passed out of the couch. This is probably around 7pm. I know, what a boring night. I woke up early and made Atlas breakfast in bed. We usually switch off on the weekends, tomarrow I will get to sleep in and get breakfast in bed, sunday is usually pancake day. The children were busy playing in the living room when Atlas attacked me shortly after breakfast was all cleaned up. The sun came in through our bedroom window and filled our room. We kissed and laughed and made love. It was a lot of fun but short lived as our four year old soon figured out our door was closed and was knocking to come in. Shortly after she discovered the closed door our 2 yewar old was sticking pens and his small fingers under the door. I was on top and was able to see the little fingers sticking under the door so any chance of me getting off was lost in my concentration on the little fingers. I started to laugh because Atlas said " If we don't make any noise they won't know we're in here". Soon enough I was riding Atlas, silently, smile on both our faces, till he came hard inside me. It was a nice way to start the day off. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Wow!!! I am just so thrilled over the respsonses I got from the first HNT picture. It was fun and excitig and I think I will probably do it again. Last night Atlas came home from work at a half decent time. We sat down shared dinner and a few glasss of wine and retired to our room to watch the new Public Enemies movie. Throughout the entire movie Atlas and I are playing grab ass, rub this rub that, tease here, kiss there. Well, At one point we both are into the movie and the playing stops, the movie begins to slow again and I look over and Atlas is asleep!! Aw, so I go sit on the couch in our room, finish the movie and start watching the hockey game that didn't start till late. During the first intermission I was feeling a little froggy, I guess its the 3 glasses of wine (i'm a cheap drunk btw) and I climb in bed next to Atlas. I kiss his neck and chest and lips just to make sure he is awake enough to enjoy what is going to come next. I pull the covers down and climb between his legs. I lick and flick and suck him until he is writhing on the bed moaning. Finally he reaches down " I'm going to cum" and this makes me continue with the same motions I have been doing only now with a bit more purpose. Atlas cums in my mouth and I milk it all out of him as his legs clamp around my body and he shakes. I climb up on top of him and kiss his neck. He lays there still twitching alittle, smile on his face. "I was sleeping so good," He smiles and looks at me, " Good Night, Atlas" I roll over. He grabs me and kisses me " You're the best, I love you with all my heart."
Happy Friday Everyone!!!!

HNT 1

Wow so this is my first HNT picture. It is of me, taken about two weeks ago. It was cold, Atlas and I were outside playing in the snow for a long time and when I walked in the house i took off my wet pants and boots and started to shake a drink mix in a bottle and that is when Atlas surprised me with the camera. So... its a first maybe a last, we'll see. Anyway, Happy HNT!!!

TMI Tuesday

Would you rather.....

1. Have eyes that always smile or a voice that makes people calm?

Hm... I think I would have to go with a calm voice because in my profession if I always had smiling eyes people may take what I am saying the wrong way. In other words, I am not always the bearer of good news or happy endings.
2. Have an affair and your partner catches you or your partner have an affair and you catch him/her?

Wow.Can't we just not have affairs? Um, for the sake of this I would rather he have an affair and catch him because that then would make him the bad guy in a divorce trail that is sure to follow.

3. Have better sex or more money?

Well, we have great sex already but money can not buy happiness. Wow, thats a tough one. We get by and do well with the money we have but more would always help so long as we remain at the level of sex that we have now.

4. Be able to read everyone’s mind all the time or always know the future?

I would rather read people's mind. I don't think I want to know what the future holds for me, I think I just want to go along for the ride as far as that is concerned however if I could read people's minds around me I bet it would make life a lot easier and probably more fun.

5. Your partner have sex with someone else or fall in love with someone else?

Again. Ouch. Didn't I mention I have jealous tendendices in previous posts. Truthfully I would rather he have sed with someone else. I want to be the only girl he is in love with for the rest of his life. To know that he loved someone even remotely the way he loves me, would break my heart.

Bonus (as in optional): What one thing, big or small, would you change in your life if granted one wish by a lamp-bound genie? Why?

I truthfully wouldn't change anything. I am vey happy in my life. There are always going to be those situations that are going to upset me but it is how we get over those, and grow because of them that make us who we are. I wouldn't change a thing so with my one wish, I would grant the genie free.

Wow. Its been a while since i have been online to blog. Atlas has been ill and has stayed home from work, on top of that our son has also been ill. But he is sick in a weird way, no fever, nothing going on anytime during the day, he goes to sleep, sleeps for 4 hours wakes up and throw up all over the place. I have washed my sheets 4 times in the past week. I love clean sheets but I like just having clean sheets as opposed to knowing that someone puked on my sheets and I have to clean them. So between the two of them my blogging mojo was just low.

I start school again next Tuesday and man am I excited. It will be super awesome to be able to get out of the house on a regular basis again. Snow willing that is. Atlas has to go away for work the first weekend in February and he asked me to go along. It would sure be nice to get out and go for the weekend but I don't think I can find a sitter, not for the whole weekend and not for both kids. Atlas' family does not pitch in their fair share when it comes to our children. It doesn't bother me becuase I know I have a close knit helping family and that is all i need to know.

I watched Big Love last night. Wow it was great, it is by far my favorite show. Tonight House starts a new season also and I am so excited for that too!!! Yay.

Otherwise we had a very uneventful weekend but Atlas sure is helping more around the house and we are spending a lot more quality time together. I know this isn't much but its an update of why I haven't been on.

Word for Wednesday

We still have puppies. We are actually down to two beautiful,brindled, wonderful puppies. Puppies are so much like babies, they are so much cuter when you know they belong to someone else. With the cold weather it is very difficult to start training them. But slowly and surely we are working on it. Working on finding homes for these last 2 girls. Any takers?

Atlas came home from work two nights ago in a rotten mood. He walked in the door grumpy and it didnt get much better. He called me yesterday AM to apoligize for his foul mood. I told him I understand that he doesn't feel good and that his work day did not go as well as planned. It was still nice that he called to apoligize. Halfway through the morning he called to tell me he was going to the ER. He has been having gut issues for the past ... 3 weeks or so and has finally gotten over the idea that it is embarressing and he went. Atlas works about an hour and a half away from our home and with the amount of snow we have been having it would probably take me damn near 3 hours to get there. So I wanted him to come home and go to the ER by our hosue but he said he couldn't wait that long and went to the one by his work. I was frustrated because I wanted to know what was going on, I wanted to be there for him, I wanted to support him. Oh well... They perscribed him some medicine and made him an appointment with a specialist and sent him on his way. Needless to say, he is not feeling any better, and in my opinion is a little worse off than when he went, only now he is no longer dehydrated.

This brings me to my word of the day, Priority... What is your top priority? I have a pretty clear cut veiw of what mine are and I treat them accordingly. First and foremost, my children top the list. Then Atlas, and our marriage,our relationship. Next is my Nuclear family, mother,sisters,father,grandparents (I have never had to make choices between Atlas and my family so I feel that they may be interchangable pending the circumstances). Next my job,and career ( I know it seems like I am not employed because I say I am going to school, but at this point in time going to school is my job and I get paid very well to do it. Makes some people kind of jealous that I am getting paid to attend college.)I think that this point things get a little blurrly, priorities mingle, mix and can be interchanged depending on mood or circumstance but the top spots are sketched pretty much in stone. So, the reason this is my word today is because I feel like maybe Atlas has his priorities... mixed? Or maybe as a woman I just don't understand his reasoning behind some things.

As mentioned above Atlas is ill, we have about 6 inches of new snow on the ground most of the schools are delayed or cancled and Atlas feels that it is imperative for him to trek the hour and a half, possibly longer do to road conditions to work, when I feel he would be better suited staying home today.

So what are your top priorities? What would it take to change them?

TMI Tuesday

Would you rather.....

1. A relaxing vacation or an adventurous trip?

I would rather a relaxing vacation. I am all for lying on a beach chair and watching the waves crash. Walking along a beach at night. Napping in the afternoon, drinking and dancing at night. Making love whenever we feel like it... Yes that is the kind of vacation that I need.

2. Get a perfect nights sleep or have amazing sex?

I would take the amazing sex because usually after an amazig night of sex I sleep really well.

3. Be intimate with the lights on or off?

I like the lights on. I feel pretty confident in the way I look and I really like to watch Atlas at work. Sometimes at night we go with the lights out just because we have small children who sometimes manage to wonder into our room but when we are home alone and we know its going to be good the lights ususually remain on or dimmed.

4. Your S/O be a terrible kisser who could always make you orgasm or an amazing kisser who could never make you orgasm?

Terrible kisser with skills to make me orgasm. Now after 5+ years of marriage and 2 toddlers running around a makeout session is few and far between. Don't get me wrong I do enjoy making out like a bunch of teenagers on occassion but if that is the best I was going to get I think I would be quite disapointed. Good thing Atlas is very skilled with his mouth and well... he's very skilled at making me orgasm.

5. Date someone much younger or much older than you?

I have never dated anyone younger than me. I was married when I was 19 though so I guess it would be hard to date younger when you are that young, I think there are laws against stuff like that. hah. Anyway, my boyfriends prior to Atlas were older than me and Atlas is also 7 years my senior. I am glad though that he is. He was ready to be married and ready to have children unlike most men my own age.

Bonus (as in optional): Which reality show would you be good at? Why?

Well... I would like to say I would be good at Survivor because I can be quite handy and self sufficent but that game is more about the relationships you make there and I am an intravert so I think I would do poorly at that game. I'm not sure if I would be really good at any reality show now, I'm not a Real World/ Big Brother drama kind of girl so... If anything I'd be good for a few laughs on Wipeout, because I am be extrodinarily uncoordinated at times.

Cold...colder, and coldest

The weather. Its so damn cold here! Cold enough that the snwo that we have had coming down for days now has no where to go but blow around. The plow/salt trucks can't really keep up beause its so cold out that the salt wont melt the ice. This morning I decided to keep my 4 year old home from preschool. I told her its "jama" day which means we will put on our jamas make a big dinner and just hang out. Atlas had to go back to work today. It was so nice to have him home with us. It felt so good to spend not just time but quality time with him. All too often it feels like we may be together but we aren't really focused on us. I remember him once telling me, "I love that you are the mother of our children, you are so incredible as a mother, but sometimes I really miss my wife." It really struck a cord because that it exactly how I was feeling at the time.

I tried to do my morning blog crawl and see how everyone else is doing but when I checked in on Athena it seems she has made her blog private and I don't have an invite. So Athena, if you would have me, I'd love to continue to follow your blog. If not, its cool also, I find myself very vunerable while blogging but I also feel like I am able to open up and express things that I don't say to anyone else.

Atlas is truly my best friend and when I want to talk about him, I don't really have anyone aside from him and some issues I just don't need to bring up to him. By the way the streak has continued and Atlas is still managing to help around the house, and spend just an extra instant doing something that would make my life easier, I notice it and I appreciate it.

I'm thinking of getting into the HNT or the TMI stuff... I just don't know how much I want to share...hmmm... We will see what this new year brings us. I want to try and find me, not me-mom, or me-wife but a good combination of the me I want to be. I'm excited for everything that is yet to come.

A New Year

Atlas and I went out New Year's Eve. It was a good time. We drank and hung out with adults, and drank, and drank. I don't usually drink or when I do I don't drink much. So after a few drinks I was quite buzzed. We headed home alittle after one. We stumbled into our bedroom and clothes began to fly. We had incredible sex, drunk, dirty, rough, rowdy sex. It was so much fun. I woke up New Year's day with a slight headache, naked tangled in our bedsheets, the inside of my legs still slick from astroglide. Hmmmm, my Atlas. He rocks my world.

New Year's Day had me slightly off. After a shower, a motrin and some breakfast I was feeling better but I didn't feel like doing anything productive. Atlas took charge. The dishes were done, the vaccuum ran, the kids rounded up and red up. I did manage to throw in a load of laundry and as I was walking through our kitchen Atlas grabbed me from behind. "I want to try harder, this year, I want to be a better husband and a better father." It made me feel so good. I know he is a good man, he tries, and he promises to try harder.

Today,Atlas and I went grocery shopping together. It was nice, no kids screaming yelling or putting things in the grocery cart. Atlas made us a big breakfast/lunch of homemade pancakes and sausage. It was so good. Then we played with the kids and cuddled up in bed. Atlas and I laid in bed and cuddled and loved eachother. This is a wonderful start to the new year, I can just hope that this streak continues. I've never been more in love with my husband and I am so excited for everything that is to come.